My feelings to tell :)

Minna ohayo gozaimasu~and salam~

it's already morning and soon prayer
suboh will come~ am just bored and
want to check my blog~ man! I'm
so addictted to my blog now rather than checking
my facebook~(already bored with that...(T-T))

anyway~

this topic is about my "feelings"
so yea~ a minute ago I read my best friend
blog~(if ko terasa then it's you~haha)
she also active with her blog~ anyway
the post I was reading was about
"Make useful of it" (yup! is you allright! lols)
I didn't notice she post this~
so I was like "o? what this post about?" I read and read
until the end...so I guess this is about her~
u guys should also read~it's really
sad+cool=really great! lols

last year I was in KL and I being there
cause my dad's job~ and the whole family have the
come~ and yea~ pakn? ok returning to the
real topic...I heard she going to KL and
going for a holiday (this is when am still
living in KL) I was like "my best friend is
going to be in KL?! really? I miss her~" something like that~

and she told me her phone.no and I told
mine so I we can contact each other~
by the time about we about to meet...
"eyh? is that really her? who exchange my best friend
with a girl wearing hijab and closing her
that's lot allow to expose skins?. Who is this?"
but I didn't actually said that to her..I just in said it in
my mind~ but at the same time I was kind of happy
cause she's wearing hijab~ but she still
the girl I know&love~ cause she still have the aura
she have before I went to KL~ haha
(Jangan marah~ am telling the truth here~XP)

but u'know I'm still going back to
Brunei~ to continue going to school
of course! and to tell u the truth trying to
find a school was really hard for my parents
and my mum was really stress out! and I was
like feeling really bad cause I can't help
her~ only to ease her is doing my chores there~:)

at first my mum did find a school for
us~ BUT!! the public school we can but to
follow the rules that is our age that "I" have to go BACK to
form 4?! and NOT in form 5?! what the heck??
that's going to be a waste of time! and same
goes for my little brothers and my little sister
except for my big brother he can enter form 5 cause
of his age~ and my mum had to find another school for us to attend.
A private school! that's pays?! like even more expensive
an international school?! what the heck??

but too bad, me and my bro can attend
cause they going to have their exams soon
and we're like at the last minute?! can we even keep
up? if I knew if come to this I woundn't have
come to KL! besides at first before going
to KL I already gave my reply, I said "NO"
but mum said I have too cause my dad worry us
so yea I felt kind of guilty..but still
my future was depending on it!! but that was
a long time ago! (well it was last year...)

so yea I return to Brunei with my mum
and my bro to continue our study in
Hasan and I guess I can say I keep up
a litte~ during 'O' level exam
really bad! I got only 2 'O's......ok end that

returning to the girl I mention...
actaully she also change me! before
I wasn't really strong on doing my prayers! masya'allah~
and I was pretty malas at doing chores
like u'know if mum calling my name over&over again
I get annoyed and I don't want to do it..
am really sorry mum!! cause we don't hired a maid.
my mum sometimes sleep late and have to wake up early
doing the cooking for breakfast,
that time she working too hard she got a nose-bleed
I was shocked! and I was about to cry...but I hold it in...
and whatever am doing my chores I just think of mum~
so she can have a lot of rest~ mum don't worry! am here
for u!! and so now I got really use to it~ as u can read my
recent post~ I kept telling~lols
but it's really damn tired~ but at least am doing my chores...
but u'know "syurga adalah di bawah tapak kaki ibu"
so yea~(^-^)

the good part is that I already used to wear hijab.
I think it was the time I transfer to Hasan
and I start to feel really unsecure when
am not wearing hijab, so yea~ it happens!
before I was like open my hijab and show my hair and like
guys looking... OMG! why did I expose my hair??!
(already a sin...sigh~(T=T))
well that was before..of course now I already used
to it~:D but I didn't really...ahem..like..u'know,
praying..masya'allah~ well that was BEFORE!!
I can't believe I don't really like praying..
(again a sin..sigh~(-=-))
cause I know who manipulate us Muslims
not for doing so! of course they really damn happy
for us Muslims not doing what is told to do.

my little brother told me they will be like
laughing to whole year! omg! so scary even to think
about it...

so I got the influence from my best friend
for doing my prayers everday~ I wish
got the of influence in studying...
of course how I wore my clothes when am out~
I still wearing jeans, and I want to change how I wore
by just simply wore a long skirt+not tight shirt or maybe baju kurung?
simple right? besides tight jeans+T-shirt is an exposion of our body figure
because besides guys can still see? what's the point of wearing it?

of course at school I also try to be careful~
like my hand, I mean my sleeves not long
enough to close where part of skins not allow
to expose! (if u'know what I mean?) so I ask my mum if she
have the "sarung tangan" of course she have~
I always wear it~ even so the sleeves is long
enough I still wear the "sarung tangan"
(sorry I just can't think of english translation? lol)

also,
I want repay all the sins that I've done!
cause if all my sins are cleared the lesser my
punishment to be given or maybe no punishment at all?
and all the slumber in the grave like heaven~
sometimes I fear Alah S.W.T but sometimes I love Allah S.W.T
but still that's a good thing~right? that way u fear&love
Him the more u want to do the "perkara-perkara yg wajib
di lakukan" so yea~

and so thats my feelings to tell~

of course I give great thanks to my best friend for influencing me this much~:)

May Allah send His blessing to us all~ amin!

dewa minna wassalam~mata nee! :D